"3-4 hours, alternating 20 mins hard(ish) 20 mins easy" and not to be put off by his tri bars... how this had gone from the original 3 hour easy ride I have no idea!! So I thought I'd stick my tri bars on too as I need to get used to them for a couple of events coming up.
Was a bit cooler than yesterday (thankfully as I caught the sun a tad yesterday) so I set off on the 8 mile ride to Marks (not M & S) and immediately into strong headwinds, I had a little go on the bars, but the wind made me all jittery and scaredy so left it til I got to Marks (not M & S) arrived and straight away started complaining about the wind, boo hooo! what a girl. I had told mark earlier that I was a bit whacked and not to expect my best, but had already suspected that I was going to come home hating him today.
I told Mark I didnt want any hills as my knee was still a bit tight and he assured me flatty flatness.So we headed out towards Ashton Keynes with the wind behind us now, just as well as I'd ridden hard into it all the way there. When we got near Ashton Mark said we were going to pick it up for 20 mins and get down on the tri bars, at first I was a bit of a chicken, but it soon became much more comfortable and dare I say "easier" in that postition even though now we were going back into the wind, when we reached Cirencester the 20 mins was up and time for 20 mins "easy" - phew! We turned towards Stow straight into a really strong wind, which lasted for about 15 miles!! What was meant to be "easy" was most definitely not!
I was cursing the wind, and Mark and the rough pieces of road, and my bone shaker of a bike but we ploughed on like the tough guys that we are! We found ourselves on the Fosseway and Mark said "coast down here" (a 14% gradient hill) so was looking forward to give my legs a break. The wind totally stole this hill from us and instead of the adreneline ride down it, had to pretty much pedal down! Reaching the bottom, we stopped and Mark said "hmmm... I didnt realise that hill was there" looking ahead of us.... we were sandwiched in a valley with an equally steep and long hill that we had just come down!
"I fucking hate you Mark"
So up we went, into the wind, lots more swear words, grimacing, growling. Then we continued along this road into yet more wind, it would have been a great piece of road given how straight it was, had it not been for the relentless gale in our faces but I now hate this piece of road. I was geting really cross with it and now heading ot towards Cheltenham, finally we turned off in the hope of getting back towards Cirencester. I had no idea where we were and had assumed Mark did, til he got out his GPS to find out how to get back!
Finally we were out of the headwind after cycling 30 miles into it, surely this would mean the whole way back is to be tailwinds!!? hurrah!
Carrying on, we stumbled across a gorgeous little village with babbling brooks, but what we also found were nasty steep hills that sprung from nowhere! I hit one in the wrong gear and had to make a timely dismount nd walked a few metres to the top. Down a hill, through a village, round a corner and "smack" another even bigger hill, I managed to drop my gear quick enough to keep going, but it was fricking steep, I heard a grind of gears up ahead from Mark, and a big "Cerlunk!"
"Wooops!"
I thought it was his chain, but when I got to him and looked down, it seemed that the whole rear derailier had dropped into the rear wheel. (that'll teach him for buying a cheap bike and dont get me started on those pikey wheels!)
On first look it seemed like it was pretty much game over for the ride, so Mark rang his wife to come and collect him. He then had a fiddle (as boys do) and started to assess the damage, I found a piece of metal on he floor which turned out to be the bracket that holds the rear mechanism in place, which had sheered right off - I had warned him to stay off the chips. A couple of spokes had been mangled and a few chips of paint had come off he frame - by now Mark was a snivelling wreck. "not the paintwork!" he sobbed.
After finally getting him to stop crying, we walked up round the corned out of the blind corner we'd stopped on and out came the trusty multitool, I told him a can opener wouldn't do a great deal in this situation so he got out the chain puller apart thingamy so he could get all the broken bits off... this is when he had the brain wave of shortening the chain, and making it into a fixed wheel! (Of course - why the hell not??)
Obvioulsy with my vast bike maintenance I helped in every way I could "don't take the pin right out of the chain or it'll be a bugg...." too late.
"told you so..."
"lets pull that gear cable right out, it's fucked anyway"
"hang, on, I want a picture of that...."
"I'm glad I wrapped up warm today"
"you've fucked your cleats walking up that hill"
"water ain't gonna get that oil off your hands - dickhead"
"oh look your new seats, all oily"
It went on like that for about half an hour (Paris is going to be a long way!)
When he'd finally finished making a meal of it, he'd put the chain back together - minus about a foot of it, taken the derailier off totally, whinged about his broken bits. his shiny carbon competition bike, was now a fixie!!
We walked most of the way up the hill (which went on for aaaages!) and finally we got back on, and made the way to the to of the hill, which was probably still a good half mile, with Mark stuck in a carefully selected gear - not well suited to hill climbing!
When we'd finally made it up, we found ourselves on the best bit of road of the day, flat, tail wind and straight! Perfect for getting our heads down - well it would be, if Captain Turdseye's legs werent spinning round at 200 rpm!
After about 5 miles we met Marks wife Michelle who had kindly come to collect us and save us from a further 30 miles getting home like that... as comedic as it was to watch - I wanted to get back before dark and had had enough of his company by now.
I'm glad i didnt' ask for a hilly ride today or god knows where we'd have gone! in hindsight i shouldve gone out with the others!!
Fair play though for him "fixing" it up and carrying on, but we all know what a stubborn sod he is so it's hardly surprising!!
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