Day 3 Caen - Cleon

Day 3 was from what i gather from most people the best day (it certainly was for me)

It was the day  which spawned  "Big George and the Train,", "Team cock" and "the day of 2 lunches"

On Friday we woke up largely to pretty incredible hangovers, some people had been sensible and not re hydrated with booze to such an extent. Gareth, Nathan and Paul G (when he finally emerged) were by far in the worst state, Paul not even having time for breakfast (school boy error!)  The mission for the rest of us  had been to soak up as much leftover booze over breakfast as possible to endure the long days riding ahead.

The rear group left early so they could take there time and take in the sights a little more, whilst the rest of us got a bit longer to clear our heads.

The torrential rain from the previous night had completely gone, leaving beautiful clear skies and perfect riding conditions. However, the first hours riding was hard work, fuelled by the previous nights stupidity, we'd been warned that there would be hills today, which didn't actually turn out to be too bad, there were hills don't get me wrong but they were long drags not helped by hangovers.

The roads were even better than the previous day, I'd never ridden on such amazing smooth roads. The mornings ride was the most exhilarating I'd ever experienced before, we were bombing across country, picturesque views either side - not that we got to see tit for too long as our wheels barely touched the polished tarmac.

We rounded a corner into a steep hill leading across and along the seafront, going up the hill, we passed a group of old ladies, who were cheering us up the hill like being on the tour! it was brilliant, as I was last up i got the biggest cheer, even bigger as I was the only "Dame" if I'm honest, the guys were well out of sight! The drivers were much friendlier round this route, tooting their horns and waving. It's funny, because in England you'd assume they were tooting aggressively, but here it was so refreshing.

We wove down through the cliffs towards the sea, everyone was in their element, this was what riding is about.

Heading towards our meeting point, was for me, one of the most beautiful parts of the journey, to the left, was the sea, to the right was beautiful seafront cottages with cliffs in the background, locals milling about, and as we pulled up, we opened out into the Marina with a few old fashioned merry-go-round and a river just beside the restaurant we stopped at.

Our hangovers, now forgotten - except Paul - who ordered 2 lunches (he missed breakfast y'see) we had news from  Giles that the other group had got lost, made an early stop and would be stopping again later and not meeting us for lunch.

The weather, still perfect, a mornings awesome riding behind us and we were all in great spirits. The afternoon would see us ride a further 45 miles into Cleon.

We started off as one group, but soon became split as the testosterone started to build, going up a big climb, the big guys made a break for it, Captain turdseye put the hammer down, anyone that could stay with him could do that anyone else would fall back and create a subgroup.

As the hammer went down and the front group set off, me and Nathan tried to stick with them but he just couldn't keep up, so i held back for him cos he was struggling! (obviously this is a slight deviation from the truth)  I stopped for a slash whilst Nathan made jokes about bushes, in this time Paul and Gareth caught up shortly followed by Captain Cadence. So the five of us regrouped and found that Giles was supporting us, which was great as he knew the route and I for one can't read a map for shizzle, and there was no way he'd take us on a really dodgy route!!

The afternoon, went from funny to hilarious, I had such a blast, I don't think I've laughed so much in ages, my face hurt more than my legs. During the afternoon, we formed "Team Cock" no idea why, it was just one of those things, maybe because I called a lot of people a cock that weekend, maybe just because we're a bunch of cocks!? Nathan became "King Cock" for the following reason....

Earlier that day, Nathan had been telling us about these amazing tubeless tyres he'd put on his bike - to be fair they looked quite cool with their go faster stripe down the middle. "Nothing will puncture these" he said, with the utmost confidence. Who were we to disbelieve this, we had some shoddy clincher tyres - pah.

Riding along, taking the piss out of each other, which was the order of the afternoon
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! noooo waaaaaaaaaaay"

We looked round to see Nathan staring in horror at his deflated tyre. Of course, we found this hysterical, of course, Nathan felt pretty stupid! While we rolled about laughing, Giles pulled up and Nathan thought about what to do... there weren't any spare tubeless tyres on the truck, so he'd have to borrow a spare tyre and inner tube. He sulked like a child while he had to put on this unmatching tyre, we took photos and laughed. He didn't want us to tell anyone after going on about how great these things were! Of course not! That would be mean ;-)

After we'd stopped laughing at him, Gareth offered to help him "do you want a hand? Tough, cos I don't like you"

Eventually we got away again, only a few miles down the road to have Gareth snap a spoke (this is a nasty habit he has!) So Giles pulls over again. Now not sure what to do, not really thinking it's safe riding along with a broken spoke, we clock Kev's unused bike on the truck so whip the wheel out of that and stick that onto Gareth's bike and once more we were away. Only thing was, the wheel was one of those annoying free hub ones which whenever you stop pedalling it makes an annoying ticky clicky nose, so I asked Gareth if he could kindly keep pedalling at all times!

The afternoon went on, with Japes and frolicking, Giles, with his excellent navigating, decided he'd take us off course and do some off roading! He led us down these stony, potholed windy roads, it was just like riding the ridgeway! To be fair the sat nav did take him down some farm tracks (which we didn't follow)

We finally pulled up to the hotel we were staying at to find the front group sat around, having been there for an hour.

Their day sounded fun too, Captain Turdseye had acquired another nickname "Big George" the group had become known as "The Train" Mark Q had had an afternoon of exploding tyres from the speed they'd been travelling at. Gary now know as Jan. They were all in equally high spirits and the morale in the group was great.

The other group still hadn't been seen all day and shortly after they appeared round the corner, Jim'll had been having problems with Navigating, the group had become lost, but it was not all bad as the group  had had "2 lunches" which was seemingly a high point of the day. I expect Michael and Toots had come off a couple of times ;-)

What was great was Jo, who'd been wanting to sell her bike as soon as she returned to England was now in love with it. She'd done a complete 180 since the morning and was in a great mood and raring to go the following morning.

Once washed and stretched, we headed out for dinner, everyone was starting to show their tiredness but all excited about the final push to Paris the next morning, Captain T gave us the itinerary for the following morning, it was to be a mega early start in order to get to the Eiffel tower at around 3 after cycling 90 miles, so we got a fairly early night (partly because there weren't any pubs round there).

Total Mileage: 84 Miles (92 for team cock)
Total Ascent: 1900m (alegedly but i dont believe Mark)
Max Speed: 45mph (achieved but some of the train)